Wow, I have the blogposting consistancy of George Bushs' foreign policy. I should also really stop with the crap political jokes :P Anyway, while on the subject of the Bush, let's hope the Russians don't invade Poland and turn the missiles around.
American government makes me laugh. As does the rest of America. Having spent 15 days in the South West (California, Arizona, Utah and Nevada), I think I am perfectly qualified to make such judgements. Said holiday was a nightmare. Our flight from Heathrow was delayed because the flight before us, to New York was late arriving because of turbulance over Manchester (this probably means that the flight strayed over East Manchester and caught a few stray bullets in the wing), and a plane aborted take-off thus delaying us by an hour...
Anyway, about halfway over Greenland, my mp3 battery runs out, so I'm left with a book, and a few in flight films. Luckily for us, we were upgraded to World Traveller Plus, because BA oversold the flight, so at least I had some space to breath. Our pilot was very chatty as well, which was nice, compared to the normal dryness of it all. Landed at LAX, and the first thing I thought was "Wow, what a shithole". Seriously, LAX terminal 4 is not a good introduction to California. Then spent a while going through two security gates and passport control, and waiting for our hotel shuttle bus. They use such weird busses, dammit. They all look like they have the fuel economy of a hummer, and are from the 1950s. Our first hotel was pretty big, unfortunately it seemed more quantity than quality. It wasn't bad though - I've seen worse. We met our tourguide from ati (AmericanTours International) who immediately displayed the sheer ineptness of her company by looking at the single supplement voucher we had and going "whoops". She then went and haggled another room from the front desk. This problem will return later.
One thing about America that I do like, is the amount of free WiFi. The first few days went swimmingly. Free WiFi at the Hacienda, nice day trip to San Diego, decent food, more free WiFi, awesome tourbus driver (who has yet to email me ...), and breakfasts in America.. they are orgasmic. The next hotel was absolutely amazing. It was a resort, in the middle of the desert. I mean that quite literally. About 20 miles north of Pheonix, sweltering hot, nothing for miles, but amazing. There were huge cactuses that looked like erections! Our rooms were awesome! Comfiest bed ever. And we had evening entertainment from Pioneer Pepper and the Sunset Pioneers (google if you want to know more), who, while really not very funny, weren't bad singers, this was along with an all you can eat buffet, which wasn't gourmet, but was damn close.
Unfortunately, things were obviously going too well for me, because the next day I managed to lose my phone in Sedona. Brand new phone. Silver Nokia N95. For those who don't know me, my phone is my life, it means everything to me. (If any Sedonians are reading, do tell if you find my phone, I'd like it back =]) As if that wasn't enough, upon arrival at the hotel in Grand Canyon, our tour leader couldn't get another room for us, so I had to put up with my sister trying to console me about my phone, shouting for no reason, and being generally annoying. Next morning, just to add even more fatal injury to already rather nasty would, my laptop died. Vista deleted itself, and packard bell recovery deleted the entire contents of the hard drive.
Grand Canyon helicopter ride was okay, I was expecting better, to be honest, though. We did a selection of tours and stuff over the next two days, (the next two hotels weren't able to let us have another room either, so three nights with an annoying sibling was not doing much for my already sour mood). It didn't help that we were up at 6am every morning, so my entire family was getting rather ratty. So naturally, they took it out on me. I won't go into details, but put it like this: I can normally accept being told off for things I've done wrong, and am quite mature about it, but this was just plain out of order.
Vegas was hot. And Circus Circus hotel was okay, until we saw the rooms, which weren't. For such an impressive hotel, the rooms were rather lame. But let's forget that trivial matter. As with most hotels in Vegas, the inevitable casino is the real money maker, the casinos in which anyone under 21 mustn't stand still for more than 10 seconds, nor must they walk past the slot machines or games tables, etc. It's pathetic. So, if a kid stands still for more than 10 seconds, they become addicted to gambling and will immediately run off and waste their life savings on the nearest slot machine? Or, if I go anywhere near a game of poker, I'll instantly join in (in which case, I'm sure the dealers would be more than able to get rid of me) because it looks so FUN!? No! Nevada state law is pathetic!
We did a raft ride down the colorado river the next day, which was very awesome. We had a really good captain. Really fun guy, and really into throwing water at us. Got pretty wet, but dried almost instantly in the 40/45 degree heat. After we'd gotten back to the hotel, we spent the evening in the largest indoor adventure theme park in the US. Which was conveniently attached to our hotel. Was pretty fun, not enthralling, but some of the rides were half decent.
Then we left for Death Valley, and the California border. Death Valley = hot.
Yosemite national park = boring.
We stayed in a little ski resort in the Sierra Nevada, which wasn't bad, had a good steak and argument for dinner, and then went to the hotel bar with some of the more awesome members of our tourgroup for a drink. Including Bruce. Most hilarious Aussie guy ever. He just sat there mercilessly taking the piss out of our tourguide (who was infact Swiss and not american, and should learn English properly before trying to do tours for english speakers in an english speaking country - his words, not mine.).
San Fransico was full of wierdos,fog and a holiday inn in the roughest part of town. We were actually warned not to walk down a certain street. Seriously, random people would just stand there in the middle of the street all day screaming "OHJAARRGHOOOOUUUAAAAAAAEERRGGGHHH" at the top of their voices. One cripple in a wheelchair chased me down the road wanting anal sex, and a tramp swore at my sister, for which I kicked him.
But we did have the nicest chinese food in chinatown, and the entire bus was singing folksongs during the night tour, much to the surprise/amusement/shock of Yvonne, our guide.
Next day we went to see some big trees. Redwoods. In Muir woods. *yawn*. Really not all that enthralling, to be honest. Then spent the afternoon wondering around the city and avoiding weirdos.
We continued down the west coast road (highway one) towards Los Angeles via Carmel, and an overnight stop at Pismo beach, where we got free drinks, computer room and breakfast. I milked the computer room for as much time as I could get, having to rely on crusty hotel computers is somewhat like waiting for a bus, you never know when one will turn up, and if you'll have to pay or not. So I was doing all I could :P
Got to LA the next day, saw hollywood, and beverly hills, and was somewhat unimpressed.
Very unimpressed actually. Hollywood's really lost its glamour, it's dirty, and overrun with tourists, and fakes trying to cash in on the stupidity of tourists. Beverly Hills: my reaction was "Well, wow, aren't you all pretentious pricks. Enjoy your earthquakes". Celebrities really don't excite me, I'm afraid.
Went back to the Hacienda, saw a few low flying aircraft going into LAX (these were just about the most interesting thing Yvonne was able to point out on the way to the hotel, rather says something about LA..). Had food at a seafood/steak restaurant in Santa Monica, which really wasn't particularly tasty. Went back to the hotel, my room smelt of cabbage, and slept.
Woke up, got the Hacienda shuttle to the shopping mall after a lovely bacon waffle, and then got an ocean express bus from the shopping mall to the beach. Funny thing was, this ocean express bus actually went back past our hotel. Once again, I blame Yvonne for bad instructions. Saw the beach, marvelled at a beach party full of hot girls, had a coke, decided that we'd seen enough water and sand, so went back to the hotel and did nothing until we had to leave for the airport.
The departures area at LAX T4 is no more impressive than the arrivals area. There are a total of 6 restaurants, 3 shops, and two sets of restrooms. None of them Airside.
Once you go through the security gate, there are about 3 vending machines. That is all.
Plane delayed by 35 minutes, so I sit and look out of the window, watching the baggage handlers playing around on their little quadbike things. They were chasing each other.
Got on plane, took off, read, watched some good films (thankyou BA) and then we suddenly dipped 2000 feet and did lots of shaking around. Sister started crying, and going "We're gonna die!" which only upset the kids in front who set off crying, thus worrying the adults, and the chain reaction began. Whole plane screaming and shouting, me sitting there smiling, and the pilot going "alright, alright! don't get your knickers in a twist! It was just Martin here doing a fart". Funny guy. In reality, it was just a bit of nasty turbulance over Mount Rushmore.
Rest of the flight was really rather uneventful, apart from the disgusting food (I blame the fact that it was loaded in America). T5 at Heathrow really puts LAX to shame, and I was glad to be home, even if our taxi was 35 minutes late, and didn't seem to know his way around London, as he managed to get us into just about every traffic jam concievably possible along the route.
Anyway, tl;dr Not an impressive holiday, lost phone, dead laptop.
Will do a post or two about work experience, but for now, Seany out.
xx